Thoughts (Sharing session!)

Looking back onto 2015... It sure has been a very hectic year. So many emotional moments... Not that I remember any sad moments from last year now..Just being me i guess  Forget the unhappy stuff! Yay! Look forward! Blog the sad stuff and forget them! WooHoo!

January was a tough month. FINAL EXAMS!! Stress!!! Well, it wouldn't be me if I was not stressed out...
I felt like i didn't do my best then. Was still in the holiday mood. It was right after Christmas and New Year! Blub... College hates people having a good time.. So they did this to make people not have a good time... 

After the killing period of exams I went for a SUKIPT 2016. It's a competition for tertiary level education that is being held biannually and bla bla bla (read more here-http://sukipt.com.my/ ). Honestly, to translate the introduction from Malay language to English is a little harder than I thought as I don't know the terms in English, so forgive me >.< Go to their webpage to find out more if you want to. Kekeke~ 

So... I took part in fencing...Yes, fencing... I could laugh at myself for this... I learned it for the sake of co-curricular activity. 3 months of it, and I thought it was goodbye to it. So, to cut the story short, approximately 3 months after my last fencing session, Mr. Coach texted me one day about the competition aaaaaaaaaand here I am talking (writing) about it. Hahaha!

After training (more of refreshing after 3 months of break) for 2 consecutive days as there was not much time left due to exams, to Skudai I went!(By college bus btw). Stayed there for a week, met with lots and lots and loooooooooots of talented and awesome people not to mention beautiful and charming people too. Of course there were many moments of ups and downs, how could a competition be without it, not to mention that awful misunderstanding I had with Mr.R, I could say it  was a great experience it was for me. Pictures..... Here's one of many of me in foil~

After coming back from Skudai, it was time to get ready for CNY!!!! So work work work(house chores), then to my parents' hometown I went!!!!! Well, not much to share though, just the usual annual tradition. Visiting and collecting ang pao from people~ Eating lots and lots of food~ Spending time with family (though it was not the same as last time when we were many)~ Playing~ "Orchestra" nights(massive snoring)~ After a week of that, home again I was. Finally, back to my own little shell (my room).

Thoughts that I could have some rest became nightmare when I had a preview of my results... I was disappointed with myself.... Why did this happen to me? Why? Why???? was all I could only think of... The shame.......... Imperfect..... I feel defeated... That's all I could say... My will to fight.... Burnt... Regrets... 

Well, what's one failure in a sea of multiple successes???? It doesn't means that I failed in life! To anyone who is reading this, a failure in exam doesn't mean the end of your life! Well, at that very moment it sure does seem like it... BUT!!! Don't just dwell on your failures! Stand up! Fight back! THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!
(p.s. this is also a note to myself, to remind me in case I fall down again)

Look at the clouds in the sky, it's full of hidden messages.... There's a silver lining to every cloud, it brings forth rain to refresh the earth, it is an artwork of God dedicated to us everyday, every cloud has a secret story behind it. 

But for this Cloud...

Fall in love with him.... Kekeke~

E.T.

Tell Me...

how am i supposed to continue...
if u kept on complaining on things i do?
you told me i was hanging out with my friends
more often than i hang out with you...
you told me that you're spending more time with your friends than me...

what am i supposed to do?
i hang out with you,
you said you're bored
what do you want?
i'm not that kind of person who entertains others
i don't really mind if u dont entertain me
i'm tired...

entertaining people takes out so much energy of me.
can't you just understand that?

besides,
can you just accept my refusal of public affection?
you respect me?
then what is public display of affection?
i said i dont want
but you kept on wanting
if i pushed you away
you said i dont love you anymore

tell me....should i just walk away?

what is wrong with society...
why did saying no became a shameful act?
let me be a nun then....


E.T.