games...

to be honest...

when i'm on field...

the animal side comes out...

not very ferocious...

but not feminine...

in my mind...

i don't think if your my friend or enemy...

if we're on the same team...

we work together...

you teach me i learn...

and i can be quite frustrating sometimes...

it happened before...

i got angry while someone tried to teach me...

my fault...

i refuse to learn...

so i have to learn it the hard way...

try fighting with me on field...

maybe i'll start hissing at you like an animal...

emotionless...

that's how my friend described me one day...

no feelings of happiness...

just a want to kill...

even if i'm smiling at you...

in my mind i've killed you 6 times...

so i guess that's how it seems...

if you want me on your team...

ASK!

don't assume...

who knows i might have other plans...

E.T.

new story book~

thanks to the school voucher i got...

i can add another book to my collection...

- Meg Cabot -

*air head

*air head being Nikki

*air head runaway

( waiting to get the third )

also my sister bought the Hunger games trilogy~

-Suzanne Collins-

*The Hunger Games

*Catching fire

*Mockingjay

although mid-year-exam is just a week away...

i still refuse to study and read story books...

i really have to stop this bad habit..

BUT...

BAD HABITS DIE HARD!!

lols... 

E.T.

random facts of me 2...

yea... 

i know not many people will read this...

but i'll continue anyway...

i'm not gay...

supports world peace...

prefers appreciating people's smile from afar...

have communication problems sometimes...

 has become more rebellious this year...

seriously in love with storybooks...

did my second piercings with a needle and ice cubes...

dislikes falling down...

flicker minded girl...

yup...

 that's it...

i'll end here... 

till then there will be more xD

E.T.

428

 two rally have taken  place in Malaysia...

My country...

although i don't care much about politics...

but i care about peace...

428 Bersih 3.0...

428 Stop Lynas...

it happened today...

i didn't go and support...

was doing other important stuff...

and also...

i didn't have transport there...

but to everyone out there...

FIGHT FOR JUSTICE!!

STOP LYNAS!!

FIGHT FOR FAIR ELECTION!!

SAVE OUR CHILDREN'S FUTURE!!

BECAUSE...

OUR DECISION, THEIR TOMORROW!!

E.T.

liars...

mirror, mirror on the wall...

who's the best liar of them all....

the word friends...

it seems more like enemies..

we became enemies in a mere 1 second...

it feels like more people are starting to hate me...

but they pretend they don't...

 they don't show...

but i feel it somehow...

the cold shoulder they always  give me...

ignoring me when i speak...

how i wish i could aim a bow at them...

just like how Katniss did in the Hunger Games...

i read the book...

haven't watch the movie...

looking forward to do so...

but i'll use a sling shot... 

even though i'm not very good at it... 

E.T.

am i ready? =S

right now... 

i'm worried sick...

will i be able to take up the responsibility of taking care of my family??

she'll be leaving in two months time...

leaving me the next to take care of my family...

i can't imagine how i'll survive...

after 16 years of her protection and guiding...

am i ready???

what if i screw things up?

making it even worse...

i've made mom worried sick about me a couple of times...

it wasn't very pleasant...

with all the punishments...

that made her sad even more...

it's almost 6 months dad's been away...

he'll be back to our side soon...

will everything be okay then?

no more horrible car driving in the morning...

that makes me to puke...

i know i'll miss her songs from the piano...

the feelings she makes from the piano named Frankie...

 the summer songs...

the movie themes...

anime themes...

and so on...

her music is unique...

even i'm no where near her standard...

she's the best...

i can't hope for her to stay...

it's her dreams to further her studies...

so i can only wish the best to her...

dedicate a song to everyone...

Train- when i look to the sky

E.T.

stupid...

i don't know why...

but it seems so painful to just talk to you...

it feels like this

yeah...

tears too...

  you seem like a stranger to me...

i no longer know who you are...

sometimes i feel like telling you...

f**k off...

seems like i'm stupid enough to fall for you...

idiot...

haiz...

it's all my fault...

stupid me...

beware when you're around me...

E.T.

edited...

finally~

i edited my blog since 2009~

bout the background...

still finding a perfect picture for it~

more to come...

E.T.

smile??

i don't smile...

because...

i forgot how to smile with no reason...

being emotionless 24/7...

makes me forget how to do it...

coming home...

with no one to talk to...

perhaps it's my fault...

being anti-social...

but i don't know how to start a conversation...

even if have something to say...

i just keep it to myself...

next...

maybe it's just in my mind...

it seems like i'm having a migraine...

and is getting worse everyday...

the moment i step up that particular car...

it comes...

my head spins...

i feel drowsy...

i feel like fainting...

wants to vomit...

creepy huh??

another thing...

i've been clenching my teeth harder and harder everyday....

my mouth hurts...

thinking of getting a mouth piece to wear...

someone told me because i have problems...

perhaps i do...

but i hide it...

till now...

i don't know what is my problem...

i can't answer other people's question: what's wrong with you???

because i really don't know...

i have no idea...

what's wrong with me...

E.T.

once upon a time...

it seems like...

the person i know...

became a person i once knew...

sad...

people who promised that they will be with you...

just disappear...

they no longer talk to you...

ignores you...

so on...

i hope...

this would change... 

life's like a fairy tale...

sometimes there are happy endings...

but not all have...

E.T.

Exam day~

well... 

i didn`t update yesterday coz i was too tired...

so here it is~

my stuff...

after lunch...

sis helped me to tie my hair...

it was terrible...

first...

my hair was unmanageable!!

second...

the hair gel was not working!!

almost used the whole tube...

after that...

did my school homework...

and DURIAN ICE CRAM!!

<3~

hahas...

despite my messy table...

E.T.

random facts of me...

random fact s about myself...

I have not lost my 1st kiss...

Never had dated anyone...

favorite color is green to blue...

Sometimes ego and stuborn...

Loves hand craft ...

Sometimes abit closed minded...

And sometimes very open minded...

Am an average girl...

Who gets emo most of the time...

I guess that's all...

More to come...

E.T.

143...

i just wanna tell you...

but...

i don't think it matters anymore...

ah...

i must be the fool...

the biggest fool...

just came across this ...

i'll cross out the last line...

i'll 4 you...

E.T.

novels~

hurmm.....

after reading so many romance novels...

i think i can write one xP...

but it takes a lot of effort and hard work to create one~

latest novels i read so far...

The cold Awakening Trilogy- Robin Wasserman

Frozen

Shattered

Torn

and...

 

a Trylle novel - Amanda Hocking

Switched
Torn
Ascend (not published yet)

these two stories...

are much better compared to Twilight(no offense)...

i hope it will be made into movies xD

waiting for the last book Ascend to be publish~

so...

if you are planing to buy me a story book...

feel free to ask me if i have it already or not...

don`t want to have the same book...

THANKS!! xDD

E.T.

Rain~

it rained today...

it feels so relaxing...

after a long week...

it`s finally Saturday...

now,it`s going to end soon...

i hope it won`t come to an end...

but it`s impossible...

my mind`s cleared up today...

no angry thoughts...

no frustrating thinking...

maybe because i`m extremely tired...

i had ballet lessons from morning till afternoon...

tired but happy...

didn`t think too much today...

so mostly happy thoughts...

i`ll try dancing in the rain next time...

let the rain wash away my sorrows...

wash away my tears...

E.T.

Dreams

Waking up in the middle of the night...

because I dream of you...

it hurts even more...

To think of you...

Seeing the way you treat others...

Makes me cry deep inside...

But you'll never know...

Because I never show it...

I don't usually cry in front of others...

I use a smile to cover my sorrow...

But these few days...

I haven't been smiling much...

Because I have nothing to hide...

the more I wish...

the deeper it hurts...

E.T.

Teary-eyed..

i cry every night...

i put a smile in the morning...

so that no one knows what happens the other night...

i try to be strong...

but every time i failed...

i`m tired of falling down again...

some times i don`t even know what i`m thinking...

a jumbled up mind i have...

i try to solve it... 

but it never comes out right...

i hope this is my last tear...

i keep saying it many times...

it never stops...

E.T.

Exam...

7 days left...

my first ballet exam after 3 years...

a little nervous...

an uncertain feeling...

i`m afraid to mess up...

wish me all the best...

my greatest regret...
is stopping ballet ...
now i`m back...
doing my best...
to get back in shape...

E.T.

it happens again...

Another day...

i saw you...

but i didn`t dare to talk to you...

i no longer dare to face you...

after all those years...

it all seems like it never happened...

i really hate it...

maybe i think too much...

maybe you never felt the way i felt...

it`s time...

Good bye...

i`ll miss you...

i`ll let go...

let go of the past...

let go of you...

your face...

your smile...

your laughter...

your everything...

E.T.